How to talk with your children about behavior.

Here are some great tips to think about when talking with your children about problematic behavior, page 20 of the Parent Project book. Remember it takes work to be a parent.


1. Timing. Am I calm enough to talk with my child? Remember never confront your children in anger, anger breeds hostility and will only serve to divide a parent and child. First address your own anger, calm yourself then go speak to your child.

2. Develop a plan or an outline. Do you know what you are going to say when you speak with your children? Write down your thoughts. Remember kids are smart and will try to change the subject. Tell your children how you feel, but remember don't be sarcastic or use put downs to get your point across.

3. Pick a private, neutral location and..
4. Minimize interruptions. Turn of the cell phone, tv, radio, be present with your child.  Both of these tips show how important your child is to you and that you love and care for them.

5. Prepare for the worst. You never know what your child might say. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. How you react when they share things with you will determine if they ever share something with you again.


Most parents don't have a plan and are not calm enough to speak with their children. If you want to help change your children's behavior you need to change yours first.