What a great weekend we had November 11-13. There were 10 parents that came out to our 4th Empowered Parent Conference. Hope and I were able to get to know and serve these parents. What strikes me over and over is that these are good parents. They just have strong-willed children and don't have the tools to parent them effectively. Now they do. Now they have a plan. Now they have hope. That's what we do.
What's next is that we will plug these parents into weekly support group, were we can continue to coach them and encourage them to be Empowered Parents. Until then they have homework that they need to do. 1. Tell their kids they love them everyday. 2. Give them a positive stroke. 3. Refuse to argue with them.
On Friday night one parent went home and told their strong-willed teen they love them. The teen told them, "get out of my room." The next morning before the conference they told their teen, "We love you." The teen responded "I love yo.... hey leave me alone!" In our world that is a small miracle and we'll take it.
Can't wait until December to help more hurting parents.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
How to talk with your children about behavior.
Here are some great tips to think about when talking with your children about problematic behavior, page 20 of the Parent Project book. Remember it takes work to be a parent.
1. Timing. Am I calm enough to talk with my child? Remember never confront your children in anger, anger breeds hostility and will only serve to divide a parent and child. First address your own anger, calm yourself then go speak to your child.
2. Develop a plan or an outline. Do you know what you are going to say when you speak with your children? Write down your thoughts. Remember kids are smart and will try to change the subject. Tell your children how you feel, but remember don't be sarcastic or use put downs to get your point across.
3. Pick a private, neutral location and..
4. Minimize interruptions. Turn of the cell phone, tv, radio, be present with your child. Both of these tips show how important your child is to you and that you love and care for them.
5. Prepare for the worst. You never know what your child might say. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. How you react when they share things with you will determine if they ever share something with you again.
Most parents don't have a plan and are not calm enough to speak with their children. If you want to help change your children's behavior you need to change yours first.
1. Timing. Am I calm enough to talk with my child? Remember never confront your children in anger, anger breeds hostility and will only serve to divide a parent and child. First address your own anger, calm yourself then go speak to your child.
2. Develop a plan or an outline. Do you know what you are going to say when you speak with your children? Write down your thoughts. Remember kids are smart and will try to change the subject. Tell your children how you feel, but remember don't be sarcastic or use put downs to get your point across.
3. Pick a private, neutral location and..
4. Minimize interruptions. Turn of the cell phone, tv, radio, be present with your child. Both of these tips show how important your child is to you and that you love and care for them.
5. Prepare for the worst. You never know what your child might say. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. How you react when they share things with you will determine if they ever share something with you again.
Most parents don't have a plan and are not calm enough to speak with their children. If you want to help change your children's behavior you need to change yours first.
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