Success!

Here is another great success story from one of our parents, http://www.facebook.com/ParentHelpCenter

Per your direction, here is the report on how it went this weekend. Let me start by saying, it didn’t go good, it went GREAT. So great, I am still in a state of shock (In a Wonderful, Blessed Way). I felt from the moment I picked you up at the airport on 4 June, that our son needed to stay with you until he “Got it.” Well I can tell you from my heart, soul, and being….He’s GOT IT. Why does our son finally “Get IT?” It’s because “Changed Parents will see Changed Children.” He’s “Got IT,” because my wife and I finally “Get IT!” With Matt’s help, We are a team like NEVER Before. Our son senses and knows this now. He knows the ONLY way he won’t end up back with you, is, this time around he has to “Earn those Checks.” There will never again be any un-earned checks. If my wife and I would have “Got IT” the first time last summer, he probably wouldn’t be there with you now. Anyway, you had the children give their definition of 3 words on graduation day from the 30 day camp. The dictionary defines those words as follows:

Responsibility: Ability or authority to act or decide on one's own, without supervision
Trust: Reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something
Respect: An attitude of deference, admiration, or esteem; regard

I can state without hesitation that our son now personifies each one of those traits. Traits he’s learned and internalized from You, Mr. D, Randy, and Rick. With all of this being said, my vote is for our son to come home next Friday, and Stay. I can state without hesitation that our son proved he’s “Got it” with multiple “Tests” this weekend, “Tests” that he passed with flying colors each and every time. Of course, I am not naïve enough to think there won’t be the occasional “Slip Up.” Matt, mom and I came up with the idea (With your concurrence of course), that if our son needed a “Consequence” for poor choices, You can expect a “Volunteer” at the P-Farm if it is warranted and “Earned.” I hope and pray for your Vote for our son to come home and stay starting next Friday, 27 July 2012.

In conclusion, I wanted to end this report by stating “Why” our son is back on the road to Max’s Farm as I type. First and foremost it’s because our son, mom and I respect You, and the Parent Project, too much not have Your blessing in this decision. God’s Grace, Your hard work and relentless dedication have Saved my Family. our son and I have a “Clean Slate” with each other and a relationship we’ve never had before for two (2) main reasons…..God’s Grace and your guidance and direction. My son and I trust you. Our son talks about you with a Love and Respect that is impossible to be faked or made up. Again, proof he more than “Gets IT.” our son got in the car today, after being away from home for almost 8 weeks, with a smile on his face knowing he was trading the comforts of home for Max’s Farm. Eight weeks ago I had to fly you from Jacksonville for you to help me get him to the Farm. Today, he’s driving himself. If that is not the picture and definition of responsibility…..I don’t know what is. Thank You for taking the time to read this letter. God Bless You, Your Family, and the Parent Project. I look forward to discussing this letter with you at your earliest opportunity. Last thing….our son was very sick last night, he rallied, and is on the road right now.

Your Student Empowered Dad

Control

One of the mistakes that parents make with strong-willed children is trying to control them. "Look at me when I am talking to you." "Don't walk away from me, get over here." Strong-willed people (children and teens) in general don't want to be controlled. They fight it. If we as parents truly had control then our kids would do everything we ask them to do. They would never lie to us, sneak out of the house, fail school, get drunk, get pregnant. Smart parents know this and give up the notion of trying to control the strong-willed child.

But we can control everything that doesn't breath. That's right parents can control all the stuff that strong-willed children/teens like. Computers, food, car, cell-phones, clothes, etc. Smart parents know how to properly influence their children to make the right choices. Here's the rub. It's really hard work. Yeah, being a parent is tough. That's where Empowered Parents helps. We show you and coach you how to properly change those unwanted behaviors in your strong-willed child.

Testimony

Thank you so much for the eye opening weekend at the Empowered Parent Conference. We are anxiously awaiting Camp Consequence to be able to see how the program works in action and start using it right away. My wife and I both feel a huge weight has been lifted off of our shoulders, because for the first time ever we have a concrete, proven plan to implement. Both of us will be on the same page, a united front for our kids to contend with. Many of the ideas presented we have tried but not the right way or we didn’t follow through with the idea. We love the fact that it is all laid out in a book. This type of program is long overdue and should be mandated when you have children. I have been often said that parenting would be so much easier with the luxury of a manual. Well, the Parent Project has listened and made that type of resource available.

When I was looking for a program online to help my son’s out of control behavior, the decision was an easy one. I spent seven hours looking for a solid program, which not only sounded good, but received good reviews and had solid backing. Most programs I came across had something that I didn’t like about them until I came across The Empowered Parent. The testimonials that I found were 100% positive, but the thing that sold me on Empowered Parent organization was you. If you watch the videos online you can see the passion that you have for helping families regain their happiness. The videos only show half of the passion you see when you talk to you in person, which is awesome. I also loved the fact that there are measures to keep me accountable for getting it right and working the program. I need to be accountable; I realize that my wife and I need to improve our parenting as much as our son needs to improve his behavior. The fact that you target the parents first and foremost was important, I wanted a program where our family can grow and get it right together. That is exactly what is happening.

With the unbelievable content of the Empowered Parent Conference this past weekend and the intensity of the message that you send, my wife and I couldn’t wait to get home. That is yet another thing that blew me away, how close the families that go through the program become. There is so much strength in numbers and in the support you receive, I don’t know how we can go wrong. I am ready to put in the hard work and get things right. This is the total opposite of the way we have been feeling for some time when it comes to our kids. We have hope again and can’t wait to restore happiness in our home so we can enjoy our children and one another again. Thank you so much Glenn for everything. We are looking forward to working with you and everyone in the Empowered Parent family.

I could go on and on, when really I could say all this in two words. Thank you.

Sincerely-

One of our Empowered Parents (written by the Father)

The Kegg's, where Jesus is always on tap!

Hope and I would like to share an update on our ministry and work with parents. There are three areas I would like to cover that we have been doing for the past 8 months. Two are parent and family related and one is church/ministry related.

First, we are so excited to be back at Round Lake Christian Church. One of the things that Hope and I have always done is share our lives with others in order to make disciples. Now is not the time to explain all of what takes places, but as “the church” we live in Gospel-Communities on Mission.  Think of the church in groups of 8-12 scattered throughout the city, on mission for Jesus, to serve, bless, and share our lives with others. Making disciples that can make disciples. We then gather as “the church” on Sundays to celebrate what God has been doing in our lives through the week.

Since Hope and I have been back, we have seen three GC’s planted, people coming to Christ and baptized, and we are about to be sent out to plant a GC in our home and neighborhood. We already have two families joining us that we will send out to plant new GC’s. Since there are about 50,000 people in the tri-cty area (Mt. Dora, Eustis, Tavares) we hope and pray to plant 50 GC’s, 1 per every 1000 people and then 300 for the 300,000 people that call Lake County home. This is a huge goal that only God can accomplish and we need prayer and funding to make this happen.

Secondly, we are still working on helping parents through our weekend conferences. So far we have co-taught three Empowered Parent Confernces with the founder Glenn Ellison; on our own, lead three EPC’s, been to four Camp Consequences, helped over 20 parents & 22 children on our own and over 60 parents/children with Glenn.

The biggest issue that we are facing is marketing. The last two months, February and March, we haven’t had any parents sign up.  While we have had a great start, I needed to get a part-time job to bring in some finances. This has really cut into my “hitting the streets” marketing. We are discouraged but keeping our heads up. Glenn Ellison has a life-changing program for families and we are thankful to be apart of it. Hope and I feeling strongly about this ministry and are trusting God is going to provide, which brings me to my last area. 

We have been working on a 3-4 hour, Gospel-Centered Parenting class. I traveled to Denver for a men’s conference in January and also taught an hour class on parenting. This gave us the idea of doing this in local churches and give parents a taste of what we do. We hope this would help get the word out and feed our EPC’s where parents can get more training. We are also looking at doing some free, one hour, classes at local libraries and community centers. I have a couple of conventions that we would like to attend to promote and market what we do for churches. 

Thank you so much for your finance support and prayers. We need more of both!

Grace and peace,

Jesse, Hope, Justus, & Elli Kegg.

To Denver and back.

This past weekend I took a trip out to Greeley, Colorado just north of Denver. For a Florida boy it was cold!

I had the opportunity to speak at Journey Christian Church's Men's Conference and lead a class on parenting with dads. "How to give kids the right attitude."

One thing that is common across the country is that kids are way different than when I grew up. They are different even after being out of youth ministry for 7 years. Our kids have changed in so many ways but there are some things that are the same.

1. We have to tell our kids that we love them everyday.
2. As a parent YOU NEED A PARENTING PLAN.
3. Parenting is hard work, period.

Even though most of what Hope and I teach is geared toward parents of strong-willed children, the parenting skills that we share are good for compliant children too. We help give parents a plan and hope!

Children need Love & Affection

"Simply loving children is not enough. Parents' love for their children must be expressed." page 3 Parent Project.

One of the key elements to being an effective parent is love and affection, telling your children that you love them. In order to have better communication and discipline in your home parents need to display love and affection. To often we don't tell our kids how we feel about them. It is vital we do this. The Parent Project says this:

"Children are now centered. They seldom think of the future and do not hold on to parental messages from one day to the next. For these reasons, most experts agree parents' love for their children should be communicated daily."


Parent, you can do this. Tell your child, your teenage, that you love them. Give them hug before they go to school. Write them a note and leave it in their room. Tell them you love them before they go to bed.  Most of the parents we work with start to regularly tell their strong-willed child that they love them and see changes in behavior immediately.

How to talk with your children about behavior.

Here are some great tips to think about when talking with your children about problematic behavior, page 20 of the Parent Project book. Remember it takes work to be a parent.


1. Timing. Am I calm enough to talk with my child? Remember never confront your children in anger, anger breeds hostility and will only serve to divide a parent and child. First address your own anger, calm yourself then go speak to your child.

2. Develop a plan or an outline. Do you know what you are going to say when you speak with your children? Write down your thoughts. Remember kids are smart and will try to change the subject. Tell your children how you feel, but remember don't be sarcastic or use put downs to get your point across.

3. Pick a private, neutral location and..
4. Minimize interruptions. Turn of the cell phone, tv, radio, be present with your child.  Both of these tips show how important your child is to you and that you love and care for them.

5. Prepare for the worst. You never know what your child might say. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. How you react when they share things with you will determine if they ever share something with you again.


Most parents don't have a plan and are not calm enough to speak with their children. If you want to help change your children's behavior you need to change yours first.